Why I saved my long-planned Taylor Swift adventure

Personal essay by Cynthia Moss, CNN

Vienna, Austria (CNN) — After more than a year of planning and dreaming about seeing the Eras Tour in person, I was singing my favorite Taylor Swift song surrounded by thousands of fellow Swifties.

The lyrics to “Death by a Thousand Cuts” cut deeper than usual, however, because I wasn’t attending her concert at Ernst Happel Stadium in Vienna. Instead, I was among swarms of crying fans in Stephansplatz in Vienna’s city center. The concert we had tickets to had been abruptly canceled less than 24 hours earlier due to credible threats of a terrorist attack.

For hours, I sang Taylor Swift songs and traded bracelets with other somber fans in the plaza. My husband, Dan, and I had ventured out to see St. Stephen’s Cathedral at the end of a weeklong vacation planned entirely around the Eras Tour. That night we stumbled upon a massive impromptu gathering to mourn collectively.

Planning for the Eras Tour a year in advance

A year earlier, I tried to buy tickets to one of Swift’s three concerts in Atlanta but couldn’t get them. The resale tickets were astronomically priced, even for nosebleed seats. Never mind that I also had a 2-month-old nursing baby, our second child, so I didn’t think I could be away from him for five or more hours.

When the European leg of the tour was announced for the summer of 2024, my husband and I realized that we could travel to a European city to see the Eras Tour for around the same price or cheaper than purchasing a resale ticket in the United States from a third-party seller.

Our children would also be 1 and 3 years old by then, so we’d feel more comfortable leaving them with family. I applied for presale codes to several European cities and received just one code for Vienna — and successfully used my presale code to purchase floor seats for my husband and me.

But this trip wasn’t just about Taylor Swift. This adventure would mark the first time I’d left my children overnight and the first solo trip for my husband and me in four years. My mom and mother-in-law both agreed to travel to Atlanta from out of state to watch our children for the week.

Heading to Europe to see Swift

To ensure we had plenty of time to make it to Vienna in case of travel mishaps, I strategically planned for the Eras Tour to be at the end of our weeklong trip to Austria. Our vacation included taking Salzburg’s Official Sound of Music Tour, singing show tunes on a tour bus in the Austrian Alps; riding a cable car up the Untersberg mountain and hiking to the summit; and touring Mozart’s childhood home, all before heading to Vienna.

The night before the concert, I opened my phone to the Vienna Eras Tour Facebook group to see the announcement that all three Eras Tour shows in Vienna were canceled due to the threat of a suspected terrorist attack. I scrambled to verify the news, eventually confirming the cancellation and the arrests of suspects.

I was devastated that I would likely never get to see the Eras Tour, relieved that I wasn’t injured or traumatized from a terrorist attack and stressed that we had spent so much money to see an event that didn’t happen.

The next day, we weren’t sure what to do given rumors that potential suspects were still at large, and local news sources discouraging people from wearing Taylor Swift merchandise in public. Eventually we decided to make the most of our last day abroad and visit St. Stephen’s Cathedral.

When we emerged from the subway station, we were surprised to find thousands of disappointed fans all coming together to create their own Eras Tour. I immediately joined in and instantly felt my spirits lift while sharing stories, trading bracelets and singing along with so many people experiencing the same emotions.

Still, I was crushed that I wouldn’t get to see Swift live. There would be future tours, but this one included parts from all her 11 studio albums, each one I associated with a different time in my life. Her music had inspired me, given me confidence and helped me cope with an array of troubles over the last 18 years. I was worried that my connection with my favorite artist would hold more sorrow than joy. So when I returned home, I started scouring the internet for tickets to one of the remaining North American shows. I wanted to go, even if it meant going alone.

Face value for my VIP floor seat in Vienna was $600. Seats in the same section for remaining shows in the United States and Canada were listed as high as $10,000. Even a nosebleed or partial view seat would be $3,000 or more after fees. There was no way to justify paying those prices.

I finally checked StubHub for the remaining shows in London, Swift’s last stop on the European leg of the tour. Prices were still above face value but nothing compared with those in the US and Canada. I realized I could purchase a London ticket, hotel and flight all for less than the price of a single US ticket.

To my surprise, my husband and everyone else I talked to encouraged me to go solo. Within a few hours, I had booked everything and was headed back to Europe in less than 48 hours.

Unlike my trip to Austria, I boarded the plane to London with zero plans. The day before I left, a giant tree fell on our house, puncturing holes in our kitchen and my daughter’s bedroom.

All available free time was redirected to cleaning up water and debris, calling insurance agents and feeling guilty for leaving my husband alone with our children while I gallivanted off to England. He assured me I should go, reminding me the tickets and hotel were nonrefundable. Despite all the tarps and buckets, I hugged everyone goodbye and started on my solo adventure.

I arrived in London early on August 19, giving me one day to adjust to the time difference and squeeze in some sightseeing. Being alone for the first time in years without any kind of agenda was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I also couldn’t remember the last time I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do for an entire day.

After checking into my hotel, I wandered through Hyde Park to Kensington Palace, where my aunt texted me about a special Taylor Swift exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum.

I loved walking through the “Songbook Trail” exhibition, a mile-long journey with 13 stops winding throughout the museum. Each stop represented an era, showcasing outfits and memorabilia that the performer had worn in music videos, at concerts and to awards shows.

The next day, I set out early to get in line for entry into Wembley Stadium. The floor tickets on the European leg of the tour did not have seats, and I wanted to get as close to the stage as possible. I got a spot in front of the diamond, the section of the stage where a large portion of the show takes place. I was roughly 20 yards from the stage, smushed in a sea of Swifties covered in glitter and sequins.

As the dancers emerged wearing giant fans, I could sense the excitement from everyone around me. I was still riddled with anxiety, worried that after all the effort and money it took to get to this point, Swift somehow might not make it onstage. I had meticulously planned every detail of our trip to Austria, and it ended in chaos.

I was struggling to believe that my spontaneous adventure was real when the dancers pulled their fans back to reveal Swift in her bedazzling pink and orange bodysuit and boots. I felt a wave of relief and knew following my dream to get to this point was all worth it.

The show was just as enchanting as I hoped it would be and full of surprises. For the first time, Swift performed “Florida!!!” with Florence Welch from Florence + the Machine. (The song was my husband’s favorite on Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” and I was sad he couldn’t see it performed live.)

Swift also brought out her songwriting partner and producer Jack Antonoff for the acoustic section to sing some of their favorite songs they had written together. When they started singing, I couldn’t believe it. Swift launched straight into “Death by a Thousand Cuts,” my favorite song, and the one I had dreamed to hear her perform for more than a year.

Eleven days earlier, I had been in Vienna singing this song and holding back tears thinking about how much I wanted to see her perform it, and now she was singing it right in front of me.

As the lights came on after the closing music video ended, I was filled with so much joy and gratitude that I was able — with the help of so many loved ones — to turn my own sadness and disappointment into the solo adventure of a lifetime. Taylor Swift showcased 11 different eras of her life and career on this tour, and she inspired me to enter my own new era, embracing spontaneity and the unknown.

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