VW learns how not to do an April Fools joke

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Tonight: Voltswagen’s April Fools joke falls flat; Nike isn’t happy with those Lil Nas X sneakers; and Chipotle is giving away $100,000 worth of bitcoin. Let’s get into it.

VOLT-GATE

Every year around this time, without fail, companies attempt to show they’re funny with a little April Fools’ Day gag. And every year, without fail, it backfires.

This year we already have a winner and it’s not even April 1.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Late Monday, Volkswagen’s US subsidiary published (and quickly deleted) a draft of a press release saying that from now on the carmaker would go by “Voltswagen” in America — a rebranding to underscore its commitment to electric vehicles (Volt, get it? Yeah, we thought it was lame too…)

The document was up long enough to create a bit of a stir among fans and journalists — was this an April Fools’ Day stunt? we all wondered. It was, but instead of saying so, VW doubled down on the lie.

• It posted a full version of the press release Tuesday morning, signaling it was serious — it was really changing its name and the timing was purely coincidental.
• In the press release, which was still on the company site Tuesday evening, Scott Keogh, president and CEO of “Voltswagen” of America, is quoted as saying: “This name change signifies a nod to our past as the peoples’ car and our firm belief that our future is in being the peoples’ electric car.
• The carmaker’s official social media accounts touted the rebranding.

Here’s the thing, though: Volkswagen officials confirmed to CNN Business on Tuesday that it was all a mistake, and the rebranding was not, in fact, real.

“The renaming was designed to be an announcement in the spirit of April Fool’s Day,” the company said. It was mean to highlight the launch of the ID.4, its first all-electric SUV.

THE TAKEAWAYS

• No, Volkswagen is not changing its name to Voltswagen.
• A reminder: Volkswagen is the same company that perpetrated a massive fraud — the SEC’s words — and lied to regulators about its diesel emissions in a scandal that began in 2015.
• A PSA to marketing departments the world over: Just stop. We’re all adults here, and if we want a pithy joke we’ll turn on old episodes of Frasier, mkay?

NUMBER OF THE DAY

$100,000

Chipotle is giving away $100,000 worth of bitcoin on Thursday to celebrate National Burrito Day. And no, this is not an April Fools stunt (we obviously asked.) To win the cash (or a free burrito) you get 10 tries to guess a valid six-digit code. To the uninitiated, that’s a nod to the saga of a man who famously lost $220 million worth of bitcoin after he couldn’t remember his password.

LOST SOLES

Nike is suing the art collective behind the Lil Nas X “Satan Shoes.”

(Now, there’s a sentence I never expected to write.)

ICYMI: Lil Nas X, the “Old Town Road” singer, promoted a pair of black and red Nike sneakers modified with some devilish details, including a bronze pentagram charm and a drop of human blood in the mid-sole. The shoes were produced by a provocative art collective called MSCHF, which sold all 666 pairs (of course) in under a minute.

The shoes added to the hype around the music video for Lil Nas X’s latest single, “Montero (Call Me By Your Name).” In it, the singer is provocatively dressed as both a fallen angel and a demon who rides a stripper pole to hell where he gives the devil a lap dance. You know, just the kind of wholesome imagery every multinational apparel company wants to be associated with…

Nike, of course, had nothing to do with the fiendish footwear.

In the lawsuit, Nike accuses MSCHF of trademark infringement, saying customers are being misled to believe Nike was involved in the product and many have threatened to boycott the brand. And according to trademark attorneys, it seems like a solid case, CNN Business’ Chauncey Alcorn reports.

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON

• Not kid-appropriate: Amazon and Paramount+ pulled two “SpongeBob SquarePants” episodes from their platforms over inappropriate content, including one with a virus storyline.
• Test flight fail: An experimental SpaceX rocket that’s intended to one day shuttle humans to Mars exploded at the end of a high-altitude test flight.
• The Hut: Pizza Hut has a new pick-up window called “The Hut Lane,” a redesign in response to how the pandemic has shifted customer preferences toward more drive-thru and pick-up options.
• Can’t stop: GameStop hired an Amazon executive to be its chief growth officer as the struggling mall-based retailer tries to transform itself into an e-commerce powerhouse. GameStop shares shot up 11% on the news Tuesday morning.